Every Living Creature Dies Alone (xlovexyourxhate) wrote in internal_pains,
Every Living Creature Dies Alone

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Name: Bryan
Age: 17
Location: Monroe, New York

Ok so why I joined. Well first someone I know reccomended this community. Secondly I do suffer from well what I'd consider intense internal pain. I get to the point where I'm like flipping out in my room. I don't cut myself nor would I consider myself at great risk for suicide, though I do threaten it a lot, my guess is as a sort of defense mechanism. Yeah I know that's wrong but that's why I'm here, to try and get over the shit that bogs me down in life. I tend to get apathetic a lot. I also tend to look down on myself. My friends keep telling me I should love myself... I just don't know how to do that. If I ever have loved myself it was a long time ago and forgotten about. This person I know though seems intent on wanting me to love myself, and I thought it'd be nice to see if I can love myself. I don't have many friends and most of the ones I do have aren't very good friends. No one really understands me. I think there was only one person who ever did but she's gone, not dead but just gone. I guess on the flip side I've never really understood anyone else. I mean I've tried to, but never have, infact the more I tried the worse I made things. I suppose though you can't really understand others when you don't truly understand yourself. I suppose it's kind of cheesey to say that but it's true. I sometimes just sit and wonder about myself. Well I don't know if it will but hopefully this place can help me out. Thanks for listening to my rantings.
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